Blog: How to Lose Instagram Followers

October 1, 2015

Final

Everyone is trying to figure out how to be the next big thing on Instagram, but no one is focusing on the real issue. How can you be the best at losing followers. I know…I know…it’s a question that’s been burning a hole in your soul for months. Fret not. I’ve got you. Here they are…the top six ways to lose Instagram followers. Consider yourself schooled.

6 | Have an opinion

People on Instagram don’t care about your politics. They don’t care about your position on last night’s debate. They probably don’t even want to hear who you voted for on last night’s episode of The Voice. Don’t have an opinion. Don’t pull an Oprah and tell people to stop eating beef. Those beef-eating instagrammers will drop like flies and leave you in their wake with the dreaded 10 likes. Because we all know you must get to that 11th like. Your life depends on it. So just keep it simple. Be straight and narrow about everything. When asked about your favorite ice cream flavor…deflect. Talk about how there are enough flavors to go around and picking one would be a disservice to all the other hard working ice cream flavors out there. Deflect. Don’t have an opinion. Take a lesson from every politician who every walked this earth. Oops. Was that me having an opinion? Sorry.

5 | Stop posting…then start again.

As an Instagrammer you mustn’t take any breaks. If you take a break from Instagram, when you come back you’ll remind all of your followers how much they don’t want to follow you. You’ll remind them that they’ve been meaning to unfollow you for quite some time, but since you weren’t posting anything – they never gave you a second thought. But now you’re back. You’re back with your obnoxious vacay pics and your perfectly clean marble countertops with just one appliance sitting atop. A copper stand mixer, no doubt. (Seriously, who has only one appliance on their countertop). Your best bet is to just keep posting. Don’t take breaks. Don’t live life. Just keep Instagramming until your phone overheats and starts smoking from the earphone jack. At that point, just hop on your desk top… but whatever you do, Instagram forever.

4 | Deviate from the plan 

What’s that? You’re a craft blogger and you’ve posted a photo of your favorite blouse. Uh uh. No ma’am. Don’t do it. You’re a fashion blogger and you posted a photo of your lunch? Who do you think you are? Some sort of real life person who does more than put outfits together? Don’t be cray. Stay in your lane, miss fashionista. Stay in your lane, miss DIY blogger. Your followers want crafts and they want them all the time. The minute you so much as suggest a non-crafty Instagram image, those followers will be on to the next one.

3 | Post a photo of your baby.

I happen to think my kid is the cutest thing ever but I completely understand that other people may tend to disagree. They, afterall, have their own children who are the cutest things ever. I get it. But there is something about a photo of your kid that will send Instagrammers running for the hills like you just posted a photo of a gremlin. To be fair, you’ll get a good number of likes from a cute baby photo. But you’ll also collect quite the posse of unfollowers. The same also goes for photos of your husband. Your followers hate your husband.

2 | Post a photo of yourself.

And this, my friends is probably the most fool-proof way to lose some Instagram followers. Post a photo of your tuuuurible mug and people will be done with you. You are usually safe if you simply post a photo of your hand or maybe your cute shoes…unless of course that hand/shoe photo violates #3 – then all bets are off. Selfies and otherwise arranged photos of ones self are  one way tickets to attrition. Yes, your followers know you are a person but they have no interest in seeing said person. No interest at all. They want your photos of pretty things. They want none of your face. And if you post a photo of you and your baby and your husband, well there’s a good chance you’ve made a triple violation and you should probably close up shop and look for another gig.

1 | Be on Instagram

Yep. It all boils down to this. Moral of the story is that unfollowers are part of the hustle. There’s really no way to avoid it. Your followers are with you for a season and they may move on, they may come back…they may not. No biggie. Unless of course, they unfollow after you post a picture of your baby . Them’s fightin’ words.

Post what you love. Post what makes you happy. Post images that you want to hold on to …images that remind you of awesome times or of not-so-awesome times. Images that remind you of how cute you looked that day in that outfit. Images of that delicious meal, that beautiful view or images that prove that you have some pretty great photography skillz. You may even want to get a little crazy and take those photos off the ‘gram and turn them into real life, tangible photos. Imagine that! A real-life photo! Yep – it’s possible and it’s pretty easy to do.

My friends at Social Print Studio just released their newest app that allows you to print photos directly from your phone. It’s a darn good looking app, too so you should check it out. You can order images directly from your Instagram feed! And once you get those photos in your hot little hands, you don’t have to worry about how many double-taps it gets. Just browse through them and don’t give those unfollowers a second thought.

And now for the fun part – I’ve got a coupon code for all you lovely friends…even those of you who’ve unfollowed me on Instagram! I still love you. Use DAMASKLOVE to get $10 off your Social Print Studio order (my favorites are the minisquares) Happy ‘gramming,  friends.

Photography by @nataliemelissa84 (follow her on Instagram!)

29 thoughts on “How to Lose Instagram Followers”

  1. I’m literally crying laughing over here!! This was an awesome post. Funny, but oh so true! Keep inspiring us, I just love your blog and all the crafty things you do!

  2. You are SO good at sizing it up and putting it into words and keeping it humorous. You hit the nail on the head! You are a crafting Diva, but I think you could also become an author of humorous books on life. Yeah really.

    1. Girl – I could TOTALLY write a humor book on life. I need at least three chapters dedicated to the Adventures of Poop, Snot and Spit. Becoming a mother has given me an entirely new perspective on bodily fluids. Gross – but true. I’m just waiting for the book deals to roll in. (I have a feeling I’ll be sitting here for a while).

  3. Good gracious, I LOVED this! It couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. Last night I posted a giveaway, like the first giveaway ever in my IG history and lost followers. I thought people liked free stuff?! It’s such a game because on one hand people say they want to know more about the person behind the name but like you said take one day to share a pic of your adorable sack of DNA instead of your perfectly designed Fall entrway and BAM you don’t exist!
    Thanks for a great laugh!!!

    1. Jennifer! You didn’t get the memo girl? People LOOOOOOVE free stuff…until YOU want to give away free stuff. Then they hate you and all your freebies. HA!

  4. Awesome post! I had been avoiding Instagram for a very long time. My daughters just set up an account for me a couple of weeks ago and I’m addicted now. I’m still learning what to do (and how … need to figure out how to add button to my blog) so this post is just what I needed! Love your projects and tutorials.

  5. I’m not on Instagram (or any other social media unless Pinterest counts) but I still found this very funny! I think this applies to any interaction with people.I so enjoy reading your posts! 🙂

  6. “Who do you think you are? Some sort of real life person … ?!”

    I’m totally stealing this and working it into conversations as often as possible. Love your sense of humor, Amber! This is so spot on.

  7. Oh lordy. One appliance, how do they do it – seriously! Hahah. Always making me laugh. I finally allowed myself to read this post after finishing my IG post at 10.46pm, gah. I don’t think we overlapped much, ha!

    1. My countertop is a refuse of appliances. Toaster. Mixer. Knives. A bottle warmer. Basically Williams-Sonoma minus those addictive scents wafting through the air. Let’s not talk about the scents happening in my house.

  8. This is just the greatest post! It’s amazing how much of ourselves we lose in order to gain followers. It’s still worth it sometimes to say screw it, I’m still a person, here’s my family and we’re pro-gay marriage 🙂

  9. I can’t even quantify how good this is! I’ve read it three times and still had tears from laughing the third time! Now it’s book marked in case I need a pick me up haha! PS: I hate your husband ?

  10. Nailed it, girl. In all seriousness, I try not to post TOO many photos of my kids, but since they are sort of part of my whole lifestyle or whatever, it feels weird to totally leave them out. Especially since I’m a LIFESTYLE blogger (or trying to be).

  11. First off, you’re a freaking comedian!! You had me cracking up because it’s so true! I lose followers every time I post a photo of my husband… But I like him!!! Also, thanks for the coupon code to socialps! I’ve been checking them out and have wanted to order some photos for some time! Thanks for the laugh!!

  12. LOL unusual post about instagram. People write how to GET followers but not how to lose them. Interesting why people need that. Like they have too much followers and it scars them. If people use apps like zen-promo.com they get exact number of followers they need.

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