I call myself curious. My husband calls me nosy. We’ll stick with curious.

Thanks to the internet, there’s really nothing that a nosy…I mean curious girl like me can’t find out. This weekend, being the random and crafty person that I am, I got curious about The Academy Awards envelopes. See, I wasn’t kidding when I said “random.”

When it comes to high-society stationery and when it comes to envelopes, I’m pretty sure that the gold envelope from the Oscars is the most famous of them all.  So today I’m doing a little something different. I’m taking on this metallic beauty. Nothing is safe when it comes to high-society stationery, people. Nothing is sacred. Except the Bible or something. I’m not gonna to dish any snark about expensive religious paper goods. Pretty sure that gets you a lifetime of lightening strikes and a non-stop flight to the fiery down under. I’ve never been one for extreme temperatures.

But the Oscar envie? Snark time. Turns out that the guy who has created these iconic envelopes is also a stationier who produces other paper yummies. Mostly invitations. Here’s the problemo….they cost upwards of $100 each.

Yes. I’ll repeat that. Because surely your ears are ringing. $100. Per. Invitation.

And here we go.

{What They Say} The [Oscar] envelope is entirely handmade, and sourced using the finest of papers and dyes from around the world. And these envelopes hold so much emotion. Looking at all of the nominees’ names printed so beautifully on these cards stirs something in you.

The design ultimately selected is completely hand-crafted from an opulent, iridescent metallic gold paper, complete with a high-gloss red lacquered line featuring a step-and-repeat pattern of the Oscar statuette hand-stamped in satin gold-leaf. White gloves are worn, handling each piece as if it were a fragile, objet d’art.

{What I Say} Now, I’m not knocking the Academy. I know it’s like an institution. A bastion of entertainment and art. Or something like that.

I’m really just using these iconic envelopes as placeholders for the idea of a $100 invitation. I think that’s something we can all agree will happen never. I’ve never had a soiree worthy of $100 invites. Maybe I’m missing out. Maybe I’m not important enough. Maybe I’m just a reasonable person. I’m going with the latter. I did have this wedding one time. It was awesome. And we had great invitations. But let me tell you something: if we had opted for $100 invitations, I would have walked down the aisle in a bath towel and the guests would have dined on Beanie Weenies and Ho hos. And then they would have talked about me behind my back and unfriended me on Facebook. (BTW: when did “unfriend” become a verb? We’ll save that for another day, I guess).

Now getting back to the Oscar envelope. I have half a mind to shoot an email to those people and let them know that I am more than capable of sourcing the finest papers to create that gold envelope, and I’d be happy to give them a much better deal. Say…$99 bucks a pop? Ok, maybe that’s too much. $98.

It’s painfully clear to me that these folks don’t know just how easy it can be to create a gold envelope of your own. Enter: We R Memory Keepers Envelope Punch Board! I’ve been waiting for the right time to share this awesome product on the blog and with today’s Oscar envie discussion, I’m thinking it’s the perfect opportunity.

For those who are unfamiliar with this product, here’s a video sharing a few tips & tricks to getting the most out of it.

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**If you have incorrect measurements on your We R Memory Keepers Punch Board, you may contact customer service here: customerservice@weronthenet.com**

So with my Envelope Punch Board in hand, I went ahead and made some gilded stationery of my own! It may not be Oscar -worthy but it sure is purdy and after making it, I can put that $100 away for a rainy day…or some shoes. Which ever comes first. Shoes.

So, I’m thinking that the Academy should just invest in a few Envelope Punch Boards. They could save loads of money and send those savings to me as a thank you gift.

A girl can dream.

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