I do my very best to blog like a lady.
What does that mean?
Here’s that that means:
If you knew me in real life, chances are you’d hear the occasional curse word.
Hold up. Let me be honest.
If you knew me in real life, you would most definitely hear a creative smattering of colorful language laced throughout most of my sentences. I don’t use bad words in a mean way. I never curse AT anyone – I simply throw em in the mix for a little flavor…ya know?
Well, here on the blog, I keep my potty mouth to myself. I blog like a lady. And usually, it’s not difficult for me to do. I don’t really feel the need…until I come across a stationery set like this one…
{What They Say} Two iconic and classic American brands are working together to bring you this uniquely designed correspondence. Engrave your name or that of a loved one or friend on this one-of-a-kind correspondence. These cards feature an array of exquisitely decorative geometric designs, graphic borders, and tribal ikats. These beautiful patterns are inspired by the grand palaces of Marrakesh, the royal chambers in Istanbul, and by the archways of Valencia. Our 3-ply cards and envelopes are hand-engraved in silver ink on our 100% cotton-fiber paper. The graphic border is letterpressed in black ink. The envelopes are hand-lined with a Nasrid Palace Mosaic pattern. Cards measure 3-3/4″ x 5-1/8″.
{What I Say} Are. You…..uh….ummm….Freaking. Kidding. Me.Right. Now?! What the…uh…heck is going on here?
That’s right people – this here set of stationery costs $3000 bucks. I’m not making this up. Trust me…it is taking every little bit I know of Emily Post etiquette to talk about this stationery without a deluge of expletives. I just don’t get it – and in the midst of my confusion, all I’m left with is a fog of profanity.
Okay.
I’ve collected my thoughts. I think I can now talk about this in a clear, reasonable way…I think.
These cards are beautiful. No argument there. They are pristinely designed and perfectly executed. No argument there either. Oh, yeah…one more thing…they cost three grand…yep….we’ve got an argument.
In case you’re wondering, $3000 will buy you 100 of these lovely notecards. That’s $30 per notecard…plus the fifty-some-odd cents that you’ll have to pay to put it in the mail. To be fair, you can save a little by purchasing in bulk: $8580 will get you 300 notecards, which brings the unit price down to a reasonable $28.60 each. A downright steal.
I would love nothing more than to meet the sultan of stationery who sees these cards and says, “Yes, please.” I imagine the toughest decision is what address to put on the envelope…because surely with three grand in discretionary stationery income, you’ve got two….or ten homes on the roster.
Perhaps my very favorite little nugget of hilariousness from the description of this item is: “Engrave your name or that of a loved one or friend on this one-of-a-kind correspondence.”
Are these people seriously suggesting that I purchase this item for a friend? Really? Let me tell you something. There are very few people in this world who would ever get a $3000 gift from me…and you can sure as sugar believe that under no circumstances will that $3000 gift be a pile of cards. No ma’am. Nope. Oh – and if there ever came a time that I gave $3000 cash to a friend as a gift….and then they bought these. Um. I think we might not be friends anymore.
To give myself a little piece of mind and restore the stationery world to it’s axis of reasonably priced goods, I made a similar set of cards using my own supplies. For the liner of the envelope, I mimicked the look of the original by using wrapping paper – then I stamped a coordinating pattern onto a flat A2 notecard. Granted, my version does not include personalization, but that is not too difficult to achieve with stamps.
SUPPLIES:
Arabian Designs Gift Wrapping Paper Book | Fiskars Scallop Rotary Blade | Papertrey Ink Iconic Images (no longer available; similar stamp sets: Giga Guidelines, Guidelines, Guidelines Two | Clear & Simple Stamps Blanc Check Envelopes | Clear & Simple Stamps A2 Envelope Liner Die
Holy CUSS WORD those are expensive.
My jaw literally dropped, and I said the same thing as you! 😉
Ok, Amber! You got me on this one. I literally stared at that price for a good 3 minutes because I thought I was seeing extra zeros. Then when you spelled the amount out, I screamed %$#$%^%$#(*)*&&^%! I can’t see anyone in Istanbul, who is known for counterfeiting credit & debit card information, sending anything out that costs three grand. Good thing the working class doesn’t fall for the okie doke! L8R.
I thought I was reading it wrong! Holy #%&$! For that price, I assume you get a live in slave to write your thank-you notes for you?? (btw, I’d prefer yours any day!!)
I love your version Amber! Pity those stamps are no longer available!
Really? Do people really pay $3000 for cards? Un-flippin-believable!
Your cards and matching envelopes are lovely – much prettier than the ones costing $3002. At first glance I thought it said $302 which was outrageous – no way my brain could register $3002. Your rant is so funny. I just cracked up when I read “because surely with three grand in discretionary stationery income, you’ve got two….or ten homes on the roster.” So funny but true if you can waste $3k on paper.
Yep, they are divine but no-one, not even the Queen is worth a $30 card. Love your version, so simple and elegant.
Really enjoy this segment.
Oh. My. Goodness. I wouldn’t be crazy enough to purchase these, but I can imagine if I did:
“Dear Niece, I know you told us not to spend more than $30 on your gift. No worries. I didn’t. You’re holding it.”
Too crazy! 🙂
OMG!!! Who buys that stuff? Certainly nobody I know!! I prefer your version actually!!! Funny post!!
Hi Amber, I know it’s crazy but there are people out there that would pay $3000 for their personal notecards. But, to be honest with you……….I like your’s better. The colors are so much prettier. It’s a crazy world we live in 🙂 Have a great day. Ciao 🙂
Holy Cow (that’s the clean version) I’m sure there is a market for $3K stationary, sad but true. In my little corner of the world my husband is desperately trying to find a job, but there is a good side to this story when we do get back to being a two income family you quickly learn the true value of things. Some are not as important as you thought they were once-but I would never (before and after) consider anything of this multitude. But on the other hand, if someone that reads Amber’s blog and can afford to buy something like this I know a great person that is ready to be hired, let me know I can send you his resume! Amber you are the best!
I’m still laughing… you re so funny and so talented! Your set is fabulous! TFS
Um, I like yours so much better! They can keep their high society stationary! 🙂
Holy freakin’ Toledo!! No way!!! Oh my gosh, how can they justify that??? This would be me… Dear Ambreee…. crap… just misspelled Amber!!!! Well, you’re getting this cars.. crap.. I mean card.. anyway cause it cost me $30 bucks for the card!!!! And yep, I know I can make it myself, but it was just sooo much simpler to order a set of $3000.00 dollas… crap.. dollar notecards!!!!! LOL!!LOL!!! LOL!!!!
Teri
Holy bat dung…….$3000!!!!!!!!!!! I like yours better anyway. Great and funny post today Amber.
i like yours better! and hot damn, i wish the $3000 was a typo
I had seen this stationary in an email from Schumacher fabrics the other day and I thought it was a typo until I clicked and read the description. I was going to add this in a comment on your last ridiculously expensive stationary post but didn’t. I’m glad you found it and were as shocked as I was. I can’t imagine spending that much on stationary even if I was super-rich; that’s just crazy!!
By the way, I just found your blog recently and really like it. You are very creative and do a great job, plus you make me laugh and we all need to laugh!
Girl, you crack me up!!! love you for that! Yours are much nicer! People are …’nuts’..if they pay 3G’s for that first card. Do they have any inclination of how much crafty supplies we can buy?????? 🙂
Holy .&$@! $3000!? Crazy! I love yours the best!
Amber you did a fantastic job on receating this stationery for the ordinary person. Can’t even begin to imagine paying that kind of money.
Janet
I call them sentence enhancers:) Girl do you know how many shoes or macaroons or cute outfits you can buy for that money. Love your take on the stationary ~ YOU ROCK!!
I wish I could say what I really think..but following in your good example, Amber – I shall “reply” like a lady! They are very elegant, without a doubt but I prefer yours – the little scalloped edge is delightful 🙂
WHAT?!?!?!?!!
Fabulous idea, as usual! I went to Joanns today and found some beautiful Indian papers on sale; then I went on google and found some beautiful paper on sale I thought you might be interested in.
Here’s the link
http://www.papermojo.com/Clearance–Save-up-to-70_c_854.html
Hugs,
Carmen L
Love your post! Perfect. Handmade is far superior!
bahahah this is a hilarious post. I’m so glad you’re not afraid to talk about how ridiculously priced some stationery items are… I make stationery and as much time and effort I put into it, I would never dream of pricing it this high… love your version!
You nailed this “replica”. Gorgeous set that anyone would be proud to get.
I hear you, sailor! When I saw the price tag on these babies, I said WTF?! You know, in full.
Your version is delightful. Why would anyone spend a hundred times more on their version? Insanity.
You are “freaking” hilarious! Love your comments and your style!
LOLOLOLOL! What insane stationery. Do they ever sell any, I wonder? Maybe to delusional people who love to throw money around (*ahem* Gwyneth Paltrow)?
I think the handmade cards that you share on your blog look waaaaay more expensive than the $3000 version. Proof that putting a little time and love into something can be worth…more than a couple 0s in a price tag.;-)
xo
Carly
Okay in just a few days they dropped the price on those cards by almost half! Now, you can get 100 for “just”…..$1748. And ordering 300 is not an option, though. Still makes a girl go “WTF are people thinking?!” Engraving is not that expensive. Seriously!!!