Today’s lesson: How to Get Weird Looks From Other People While Shopping at Michael’s Craft Store.
Step one: Enter the store with a bag full of lipsticks.
Step two: park your butt on the floor of the paint aisle and pull out the aforementioned bag of lipsticks.
Step three: Pull each tube of lipstick out, one by one, open it and hold it against the rows of acrylic paint until you find a perfect match.
It will work every time. People will think you’re nuts. So nuts that they won’t ask you what you are doing because common sense tells you to leave crazy people alone. You never know what crazy people will do. One minute they’re matching paint and lipstick the next minute they’ve got a ball of yarn on a leash and taking it for a walk. I actually saw that once. No kidding.
In this case, my crazy was all in the name of pretty photos and a fun blog post in honor of the highly regarded National Lipstick Day…which I’m sure you celebrated in big style. I fully realize that you don’t actually need your lipstick to match your craft paint, but how cool is it that you could! You could paint a piece of paper and seal it with a kiss…a kiss that matches perfectly! So just for laughs, let’s talk about some of my favorite lipstick shades and their paint partners.
1. Candy Yum Yum is my signature lipstick color. It’s a super bright, bold neon pink…and it’s also called Candy Yum Yum which is just so fun fun. Not for the faint at heart but I’ve never been one to shy away from color. Candy Yum Yum just so happens to coordinate perfectly with my very favorite Martha Stewart craft paint color: Party Streamer. I’ve gone through six or seven bottles of the stuff and I have no plans of stopping. Whether you choose the paint or the pucker…these are both hot pink perfection.
2. You know when you have that feeling like “I need to spend money!” That “money burning a hole in your pocket” feeling. That “why, yes, I think I will call in and order a Chia Pet.” feeling. When I get that “buy something” urge, I typically buy lipstick. It’s inexpensive enough but makes me feel all sorts of fabulous – especially if it’s in an awesome shade of purple. Yes, purple. I promise you won’t look like that Kardashian kid, whose lips officially look like two corndogs. No, Up the Amp is sassy and me loves it. It the perfect match with Martha Stewart Plum paint. So go ahead and paint a picture frame and fill it with a selfie of you and that purple pucker.
3. My favorite color is carbs and my favorite food group is pink. Wait. Strike that. Reverse it. You know what I mean. The perfect pink is so necessary. For your wardrobe. For your shoe closet. For your lippies and most definitely for your craftroom. I’ve got the last two covered. Saint Germain and Pink Camellia are a matchy matchy made in heaven.
4. Bright orange lipstick makes me feel like I’m Annie Lennox in the Eurythmics. You have not lived until you’ve belted out Walking on Broken Glass…or Sweet Dreams…or Here Comes the Rain Again. Damn, Annie. So many hits. So many hits for me to sing at the top of my lungs after two or ten glasses of wine. Not like that’s ever happened. Speaking hypothetically. Purely hypothetically. But if I did go out and drink all the hypothetical wines, I would leave hypothetical lipstick on my glass in the shade of Morange. And my hypothetical wine glass would be stenciled with hypothetical paint in the shade of Orange Red from Michael’s. Hypothetically, of course. Because if you’re gonna make up stories about things that have never happened, you’d might as well make sure all the colors coordinate.
5. If you want my money, here’s a trick – put a flamingo on it. I will buy it. Every time. Don’t believe me? Then clearly you haven’t read this post. If you can’t put a flamingo on it, just call it “Flamingo” and I’ll buy it. Like, if Cadbury started making flamingos, I might actually consider buying one of their milk chocolate candies filled with sugar snot. Sorry. That’s what they are. Bleh. Candy Eggs. Oh, hells no. Cadbury Flamingos. Now we’re talkin’. Mac Cosmetics obviously got the memo. They have a lipstick called “Flamingo.” I bought it. Easy. Flamingo is a spot on match for Coral Reef from the Michael’s brand of paint, CraftSmart.
Now for a fun little assignment …if you’re up for it! I want to hear if you have a favorite shade of lipstick and I want to know if it matches any of your favorite craft colors. I know…I’m makin’ you work on this one! If any of you come through with a lip/craft match…well…let me just say, there’s ten million love bucks waiting for you!